


red eyes and in for a surprise

by godlet



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Eldritch, Family, Gen, Ghosts, Gothic, Nonbinary Character, Road Trips, Spooky, Summer Vacation, Unsettling, almost vlad/jack/maddie, badger cereal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 07:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6792832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godlet/pseuds/godlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fentons take a road trip. Vlad makes Midwestern Gothic so very (un)appealing. </p><p>Danny, with the power of cute clothes and anxiety, tries to keep Vlad from seducing his parents (...or something.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. doesnt even matter which state theyre in

**Author's Note:**

> Revised August 2017

 

At some point in your life, you have to let go of all of the pent up anger. Take your lumps and get over it. Realize that everything will happen as it happens no matter what you do.

 

This is not one of those times.

 

"Does anybody else remember what happened last time or is it just me?" Danny speaks up cattily from his seat in the back of the RV. He doesn't even have to _see_ Jazz to be able to tell that she just rolled her eyes. "Nobody? Just me? Okay. Then let me remind you all that _this is a terrible idea!"_

 

"Nonsense, Danny-boy!" His dad tells him from up front. The man had been banished from the wheel after he purposefully tried to run them off road to chase a wild animal for some 'candid photography.' "Last time was just a fluke. Your old man is stronger now! I can throw off an over-shadowing in three minutes flat. Besides," Jack cranes his neck around to flash a dazzling smile at his son. "You just haven't _lived_ until you've taken a road trip across the great Mid-Western United States!"

 

"That's… not really comforting, dad," Danny responds with, sighing and leaning his head against the inner wall. It clatters annoyingly next to his ear as they ride over one of the many, many, _many_ potholes. "Do we have to bring _Vlad_ with us though? Can't we just…" _Tie him up and leave him in the bottom of a lake?_ "…do this without him?"

 

"Now, Danny," his mom admonishes, eyes never leaving the front window. Like a Good Samaritan who doesn't go off-road to chase sparkly objects. "This is the perfect chance to reconnect. You might not understand this, but your father and I used to be very good friends with Vlad. We were really…" She breathes in deeply, pausing with a heavy air, "disappointed when he did not contact us for… a while."

 

Danny, having _literally gone back in time_ at the exact point in which their split happened, understands this all too well.

 

"Bonding time with Vlad Masters," Jazz mutters obtusely, lounging around on one of the fold-out beds. "Hooray."

 

Danny prays for some sort of divine intervention.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

When they arrive at the rendezvous point, it is to the sight of a very expensive, large, mobile-home-esque camper and a tiny, tiny Vlad standing next to it with an appropriately smug face.

 

"Shoot me; kill me," Danny drones. Then he mimes shock and smacks his palms to the sides of his face, tugging on the skin until it sags. "Oh wait!" He turns towards his sister. "Too late…"

 

Not even a snort. Jazz has never been a big fan of his _'I'm dead haha get it because it's terrifyingly_ literal' jokes.

 

"Vladdy!" Jack calls, stepping forward and practically attempting to bowl the shorter man over. "How's my best man? Haven't had any more problems with that there ghost in your house, have ya'?"

 

Vlad expertly dodges those tree-trunk arms, stepping around the larger man in favor of greeting Maddie. "Ah, Madeline, you're looking radiant as ever."

 

"…Mhm." Looks like Maddie is already regretting ever agreeing to this. "How's your health? Not too shabby?"

 

The silver-haired man blinks twice with an unimpressed face, reaching into a duffle bag and holding out an object. "Personalized water bottle?" He offers flatly.

 

"Thank you," the mother responds primly, taking the proffered orange bottle with 'Maddie' scrawled on the side in black script. "You remembered that my favorite holiday is Halloween! Oh, how sweet."

 

"But of course I did," Vlad smiles oily, limply tossing a bright yellow and green bottle over his shoulder. Jack catches it like a champ, not in the least bit perturbed. "I have two for the children as well."

 

As Vlad walks over to where Danny and Jazz are leaning against the side of the Fenton RV with twin skeptical eyes, Danny takes in what Vlad is wearing. It's surprisingly down-to-earth and casual; a simple navy shirt and dark jeans. His hair isn't even pulled back so much as put off to the side, most of it being tucked behind his ears.

 

Danny is immediately suspicious as hell.

 

"Jasmine." Vlad says, holding out a dark red bottle that she grudgingly takes with a quick swipe. "And Daniel."

 

Danny's bottle is bright green, which he blinks at.

 

He doesn't know what else he expected.

 

"Ttthhaaannkksss…" Danny draws out, lightly shaking the bottle and listening to the water swish around inside. When Vlad walks away, however, he trades glances with Jazz. The two siblings immediately unscrew the caps to view the contents.

 

"Nothing; just water" is what Jazz says right as Danny hisses "What the _shit?"_

 

Inside of his bottle is what Danny can, after an entire year of being a half-ghost that literally beats up other ghosts for a living, identify as diluted ectoplasm. It is smooth and shimmery, lightly luminescent, and has no flecks or crystalized fibers common in raw ectoplasm usually found harvested straight from an ectoplasmic entity. This most likely means that it was high-quality filtered ecto-sample, something that could only be synthesized in a lab.

 

He doesn't know if Vlad is trying to be… _nice,_ or whatever, but the man was obviously on to something when he gives Danny a bottle full of what is basically healing ambrosia to halfas. That or electrolyte water with a really, really weird taste and way too much stimulant to possibly be healthy.

 

Plus, it's practically skin-devouring acid to humans.

 

"Is that…?" Jazz narrows her eyes, peering into the bottle before Danny hurriedly screws it closed. "I wouldn't drink that. Who knows what he could've put in – _Danny!_ Ugh, why do I even bother…"

 

"Too late!" Danny chuckles, taking another swig of the glowing concoction. "What? Don't look at me like that; you try duking it out with somebody like _Skulker_ two nights in a row and see how quickly you take up drinking unknown substances from shady old men who are _also_ prone to beating you up."

 

Jazz makes a face at him. He makes a face right back.

 

"Kids!" Their mom calls, interrupting their fight (one that Danny was obviously winning, glowing green eyes and freckles and all) "Come on; help us get all of the luggage onto the camper!"

 

Jazz sighs, giving Danny one last meaningful look, but he must have some sort of triumphant expression on his face, because hers twists up and she growls out an irritated "Bite me."

 

Danny takes her up on that.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

"You didn't have to hit me so hard!"

 

The two kids are sitting in what is, essentially, a very narrow living room in the middle of the camper. Up front in the driving and shotgun seats is Maddie and Vlad, who are conversing quietly. In the very back of the moving vehicle is Jack, already passed out on the largest bed.

 

"You have _fangs,_ Danny." Jazz stresses from across the camper, lounging angrily (how) on one of the beige couches. _"Fangs!_ In what world did you think that it wouldn't hurt if you were to bite me?"

 

Danny huffs and crosses his arms instead of replying, glancing to the right just in time to catch a very odd look from Vlad.

 

Oh, right. Super-hearing and all. He probably heard that.

 

So Danny does the adult thing and sticks his tongue out at the other halfa.

 

The man raises a dismissive eyebrow and goes back to his conversation with Maddie.

 

Slightly miffed at being so obviously brushed off by his arch- _freaking_ -nemesis, Danny groans and flops dramatically onto the window sill next to his head. "Are we there yet? Or, well, _anywhere_ yet? It's been infinite _corn_ for the past hour!"

 

And it had been. Corn, that is. Danny can't remember when the corn began, he just knows now that it would. Not. End.

 

"Take a nap, little badger," Vlad calls back at him from up front. Danny shoots a steely (read: pouty) glare in that direction. What's even worse is that no one even pretends to look phased at the man's awful, _awful_ nickname. "This may take a while. Relax."

 

Danny lets out an explosive sigh and collapses back onto the seat, hunkering down for an incredibly boring (and somewhat stressful, due to Vlad's presence) ride into the great unknown… which was also very likely to be boring as shit, too.

 

Lovely.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

About an hour before their first pit stop (according to his mom) Danny takes a shower. His sister had been doing that thing where she'd wrinkle her nose every time Danny came within five feet of her, and also he was kind of curious as to how a shower would work on a moving vehicle.

 

So it is with great joy that a freshly washed and dressed Danny hops off the camper, stretches his body, and is immediately accosted by his mother.

 

Super start.

 

"Danny, are you sure you should be wearing that?" Maddie questions dubiously, obviously doing that mom thing where she searches for a 'correct' answer yet not giving any hints to what that answer may be.

 

"Mom," Danny sighs, shaking his head as if disappointed. "Mom, mom, mom… Mom."

 

Mom blinks back at him, unimpressed.

 

The young teen points towards the sky. "Sky's out?" Then he points towards his legs. "Thighs out."

 

Mom rolls her eyes. "I was referring to that incredibly short crop top, but your shorts leave a lot of skin showing, too."

 

Danny takes a gander down at his body. It's really tiny and kind of malnourished at some angles, which has been bothering him since he hit puberty, but with a little bit of self-love and a whole lot of encouragement from his friends, he was able to at least somewhat enjoy existing in his half-ghost flesh bag.

 

His shorts are probably his favorite – pink red fading into bright green with dark spots all over it. He found it at a thrift store and practically squealed when he saw it, diving for the bin. How can you _not_ want shorts that are modeled after watermelon?

 

His crop top is something he's pretty sure he accidentally stole from Paulina's house and never gave back. It's a dark gradient blue with a green blob of a ghost in the middle, bubbly drip text underneath spelling out 'GOT GHOST?'

 

His parents, obviously, do not appreciate his sense of style (or humor.)

 

However, when Vlad makes it off the camper, the man takes one look at Danny and spits out his mouthful of water, laughing uproariously despite his efforts to cover his mouth and stop.

 

Danny puffs out his chest and saunters away, flicking borrowed sunglasses (whose are they? Hell if he knows) down to the bridge of his nose and clicking finger guns as he wanders off to find the bathroom to empty his bladder full of glowing green water.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

After finding the bathrooms (which were only male/female. He spent way too long standing in front of them and juggling his eyes back and forth indecisively before a particularly peeved looking man stepped into the men's. Danny picked the women's, and easy choice after seeing _that_ ) and silently cursing Vlad for giving him an entire bottle of diluted ecto-water, Danny meanders his way through the tiny gas station store with zero intentions to buy anything.

 

He must be giving off vibes or something, because the man at the cash register is looking at him with narrowed eyes full of death. It was a look that Danny was sort of familiar with – the kind that Amity Park locals give to oblivious tourists, except paired with that violent superiority that gender non-conforming people like him get nearly all the time.

 

 _Fine,_ Danny thinks, answering the unspoken prompt to react. _You wanna play? Then let's play._

 

Tapping his chin as if in thought, Danny makes his way up to the counter. Thankfully, he has some loose change in his pocket, so he can pull this off without the man calling the police or whatever.

 

He delicately selects a thin packet of pink bubblegum from the large array of the usual candies in front of the counter. It is, surprisingly, only half a dollar, so Danny picks out one quarter, two dimes, and a nickel to pay with.

 

Cheekily, because why would he resist, Danny unwraps one of the sticks and folds it into his mouth, chewing just enough so that the gum was soft, blowing a bubble that was easily the size of his face, then letting it pop and smack obnoxiously as he pulls it back into his mouth with his tongue.

 

Check it, old man.

 

"Daniel," Vlad's voice suddenly drifts in through the propped open store door. Apparently, to these people, upwards of seventy degrees was cool enough to do that. "Stop harassing the locals. They get agitated when their environment changes unexpectedly."

 

Absolutely floored, yet holding in laughter, Danny twirls around and skips his way out of the store, his white flip-flops flopping as obnoxiously loud as possible. On the other side is a carefully blank-faced Vlad.

 

He has to forcefully stop himself from giving the older man a fist-bump.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

Danny is awakened from his evening nap sprawled across the large bed in the back of the camper when his sister (?) starts shaking him.

 

Mumbling incoherently, the young teen wipes a hand across his oily face as he yawns, taking note from the darkness of the room that it was nighttime.

 

Someone – maybe Jazz again – hands him a thick piece of fabric. With wandering fingers and squinting eyes, Danny identifies it as some kind of pullover. As he was lightly shivering in the contrasting cool air, he quickly makes use of that name and puts it on.

 

He just about craps his pants when Vlad speaks up right next to his head.

 

"Come on, now," the older man shuffles the teen out of the room. "Everyone's waiting outside."

 

Sure enough, they've stopped at some sort of valley between cornfields. Jack, Maddie, and Jazz are all sitting around what must've been a fire pit used by previous travelers. The aroma of burning wieners and marshmallows wafts through the air, and Danny is surprised that he didn't smell it sooner and wake up.

 

"It's awake!" Jazz titters as she draws Danny into a side-armed hug, tugging him down to sit on the log in front of the fire. "Jeez – you really know how to conk out, huh? It's a wonder if you'll even get any sleep tonight."

 

Danny sweeps a filmy gaze over the land, spotting a couple of sleeping bags not yet unrolled off to the side. He then looks up, tired eyes turning wide with amazement.

 

"Told you he'd drop his mouth open," Vlad whispers to Jack. Maddie rolls her eyes as the two pass money between each other. Maybe because this was a billionaire betting with ones and fives.

 

"Aw, I was hoping that he'd yell first," Jack sighs in mock despair.

 

Danny, of course, heard all of that, but he's too busy gawping at the sheer number of stars to really understand what's going on around him.

 

"Take– take a picture!"

 

"What?"

 

"Do it - quick!"

 

There's a snap of light that has Danny nearly falling off of his log. If it weren't for Jazz's supporting arm, he would be rolling blind in the dirt right now.

 

Blinking back stars (haha), Danny directs his irate gaze to the two men across the pit. "Oy," he grunts, glaring at Vlad (despite his dad being the one with the camera.)

 

"Oh, hush," Maddie admonishes. "You never let us take pictures of you at home. Why not now?"

 

"Uh, because I look like a potato sa – _Hey!"_ Danny suddenly exclaims in the middle of his sarcastic response, pulling the front of his sweater closer to the light of the fire to examine it. "Oh, haha, very funny."

 

His pullover has a badger on it.

 

Vlad looks incredibly smug.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

He's running. Stalks of corn smack into his knees and face and shoulders, threatening to trip him.

 

He's running. His bare feet catch on every obtrusion, scrapes barely registering in his adrenaline-addled mind as he sucks in air and forgets to push it back out.

 

He's running. The ominous sounds of – _something_ – chasing him drown out everything else except the pumping of blood pounding in his ears like a lifeline, a tempo, _run_ _ **run**_ _run_ _ **run –**_

 

He's running. He's running. He's - …why is he running?

 

Hard fingers grasp his foot and throw him face-down screaming into the dirt –

 

* * *

 

Danny wakes up spiraling mid-air in his ghost form.

 

" _Wuh!?"_ The ghost-boy exclaims in absolute confusion. "What!? Whe - !?"

 

His heart isn't pounding ( _because you don't have one right now, genius_ ) and there's no wounds on his feet or itchy skin from where the corn leaves smacked into his face.

 

He is, however, hovering a few feet over a seemingly never-ending cornfield.

 

"What?" Danny asks aloud one more time, rubbing a hand over the bottom half of his face as he spins in circles. "Mom? _Dad!?"_

 

Silence answers him. Even if he didn't live in a city, he'd still be unnerved by the lack of sound, or light, or movement. No animals scurry between stalks, no bugs buzz in the muggy air, and there is absolutely no sight of any human (or non-human) life as far as the eye can see or the senses can sense.

 

" _Jazz!"_ Danny shouts, now more desperate and still confused. _"Mom! Dad! Jazz!"_

 

Nothing.

 

"…Vlad?"

 

Nothing. Nothing _nothing nothing nothing –_

 

So Danny starts to fly. He goes slowly at first, but quickly abandons any control he thought he had over his mind and lets his powers go. The corn stalks wave at him as he passes, flattening themselves to the ground then springing back up in his wake.

 

Soon, however, he begins to feel unnaturally tired, as if he's spent weeks flying and can't hold himself up for one second more. With great reluctance bordering on absolute hysteria, Danny lands in a random patch of corn and kneels on the ground, panting his way through a de-transformation.

 

Almost immediately, he hears something. It isn't a good something. In fact, it reminds him all too much of the – dream? Hallucination? – he just pulled himself out of.

 

_Though, this also feels like an unreality. Maybe I'm still dreaming?_

 

_I can't take the chance if I'm not._

 

And so Danny picks himself back up and starts running.

 

Stalks of corn smack into his knees and face and shoulders, threatening to trip him.

 

His bare feet catch on every obtrusion, scrapes barely registering in his adrenaline-addled mind as he sucks in air and forgets to push it back out.

 

The ominous sounds of – _something_ – chasing him drown out everything else except the pumping of blood pounding in his ears like a lifeline, a tempo, _run_ _ **run**_ _run_ _ **run –**_

 

Hard fingers grasp his foot and throw him face-down screaming into the dirt –

 

"Daniel! Wake up, Da – _Owch._ For Christ's sake, child, it's only me!"

 

_Vlad?_

 

Danny opens his eyes, breathes heavily, and instinctively sucker punches the only person within the near vicinity – Vlad.

 

"Vlad!" He shouts when he can sit up completely, swirling dirt about his flailing self on the ground and squinting despite the darkness. He can hear the way the near unseen corn stalks wave with the soft wind right next to his ears, only now it feels ominous rather than a boring comfort. _"Oh my god!_ What's going _on!?_ What was _that!?_ Where were _you – "_

 

"Calm down, Daniel," Vlad growls out, rubbing the side of his face and picking himself up from his sprawled crouch.

 

Danny feels absolutely no remorse.

 

"Where's everyone else?" Danny asks once more, whiney and breathless because he can't remember how he got here, in the middle of this _goddamn cornfield._ There are no signs of struggle, and he feels almost peaceful laying on the ground. It makes him immediately distrustful of his own perceptions.

 

"Gone." Is all Vlad says. Danny hisses out a squeal from stress. "I managed to wake up just before you. It appears that we are alone out here." He gives the boy a look that silences all interrupting accusations. "And, no - I am not responsible for this, no matter what your frivolous delusions might suggest."

 

"Well – well…" Danny huffs out, scrubbing an annoyed hand through his hair. "Do you have _any_ idea what's going on?"

 

"Perhaps." The other halfa responds evasively, standing up and brushing down his pant legs to rid them of dirt. "I may have a hypothesis, but we will need to find civilization to test it."

 

Vlad is apparently wise in the ways of 'avoiding Danny's whining' as he is already pushing through the stalks, assured in his awareness of the direction he's chosen to go in.

 

Danny scrambles up from the ground to follow, noting that he's still in those ridiculously _adorable_ watermelon shorts and that ridiculously _awful_ badger sweatshirt. He's slightly thankful that he's still wearing the warm sweater, though, because he can feel gooseflesh prickling along his bare legs in an uncomfortably chilly tickle.

 

Not but a few minutes later, they hit the road. Across the blacktop is the spot where their camper – and family – are supposed to be.

 

Except its empty.

 

" _Vlaaaad!"_ Danny whines with barely restrained anxiety, just short of grabbing the older person's arm and tugging until they fall over. Because he's a jerk to jerks and he's _scared,_ dammit. "Where are they? Where's the camper? They wouldn't just leave without us, would they?"

 

"Patience, Daniel," Vlad says, but it's muted and bereft of the usual exasperated disdain that paints his words around the younger halfa. "I mentioned that civilization was the key, did I not?" He takes a gander down each direction of the road before choosing a side. "There should be a church around twelve miles back. We should get walking."

 

At the news that there would be somewhere around three hours of walking, Danny groans. "Why can't we just fly there? Or, better yet, fly in the direction that my parents might've driven off in?" Never mind the fact that they drove off at all…

 

"You will do no such thing," Vlad snipes back, turning his head and giving Danny a stern look. "Do you _want_ to call back the forces that hunted us before? And explaining to your parents how we, two _very normal humans,"_ another look, "managed to gain enough speed to meet up with them several miles ahead is an impossibility full of improbable and strategic lies that neither of us can create clearly at this point in time." Another deep breath. "We are _walking."_

 

Vlad moves on down the road, leaving a gawping and steaming Danny in the dust. The ghost-boy rubs one eye tiredly and trails after the older halfa, groaning some more just so that they can hear and be aware of how _annoyed_ he is.

 

Absolutely miffed to hell.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

Only about half an hour later, Danny can't seem to keep his eyes open anymore.

 

His feet shuffle limply against the ground, kicking up tiny rocks and dust layered overtop the old road. He's pretty sure his mind is full of cotton right now, and its sticky syrupy sleepiness is trying to pull his shoulders down so that his head touches his feet.

 

There's a huffing noise somewhere ahead of him that his brain barely registers. Vlad has been slowly gaining ground on the younger halfa, only occasionally needing to look back since his constant shuffling was apparently loud enough to both alert Vlad and scare any small critters away.

 

Speaking of small critters… Danny had been steadfastly ignoring the eerie, otherworldly eyes that sometimes peek out from between the never-ending line of corn stalks.

 

Yikes.

 

"If you keep this up we will not make it there until morning," an equally tired sounding Vlad speaks up from the very sudden and surprising distance of only three feet.

 

Despite this spook (ha), Danny doesn't jump and immediately aim for a hit. Instead, he only slightly picks up his hanging head and squints at Vlad, unimpressed. "Yup." No guilt-tripping the constantly guilty, now is there?

 

Also – tired.

 

Vlad sighs again. It is accompanied by a nose bridge pinch. Danny doesn't even have the energy to feel accomplished about causing the old man mental labor.

 

"Well, come here, then," the older halfa says, turning slightly and holding out one arm.

 

Danny looks on, confused. Side hug? Choke-hold? Who knows.

 

Vlad sighs for the third time. And then he does something really weird that Danny probably should've done something about, but he's too tired to care right now.

 

"I never thought that I'd be getting a piggy-back ride from my arch-nemesis in the middle of a deserted road in cornfield hell," Danny mumbles quietly into the back of Vlad's navy shirt. He smells like ozone and a myriad of herbs that makes the young ghost-boy's nose wrinkle. "But here we are."

 

Vlad says nothing and hikes Danny's body up a bit more, comfortably laying the sack of living potatoes across his back like… a sack of living potatoes.

 

What? Danny's tired.

 

…Didn't he already mention that he was dead (ha) tired?

 

In fact, with the smooth loping of Vlad's long strides and eerie quiet accompanied by the swaying of the many, many, _many_ corn stalks, Danny falls asleep within only a few minutes.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

Danny wakes up to the muffled sound of a revving bike engine.

 

"Mmph…?" He mumbles out, unsticking his face from the odd pleather couch he was sprawled face-down on top of. It only takes one good half-look covered with eye goo to identify the place he's in as a church.

 

"Ah…" a soft, deep voice hums out from somewhere across the room illuminated by a sea of tall candles. It makes his vision swim and cloud even more. Everything smells of sage. "Your son is awake."

 

"Mmmm…" Danny murmurs once again as a large, warm hand lands on his back, slowly rousing him into sitting upwards. "Where we at…"

 

"Come along, little badger," someone – who could only be Vlad, really, come on, let's be real here – says right before he's being picked up again like some kind of child.

 

Granted, he's certainly pint-sized. But he can bench press a box car for shit's sakes. Danny's practically Mr. Incredible, here!

 

That doesn't mean that he can't appreciate a good shoulder to nap on, however. Which is what he's doing right now; appreciating. 100% grateful. Praise be to whatever deity this church may worship and all that hoop-la.

 

The sleepy half-ghost gets one good look of the main room of the church as he's being toted around like a particularly large doll before his eyes slide closed again. It's enough to realize something very important… going by the copious amounts of beards, tattoos, and leather jackets, that is.

 

He's in a freaking biker church. Cool.

 

"I must thank you for allowing us to purchase your spare vehicle on such short notice," Vlad intones oily right next to Danny's ear, talking to someone squeaking with leather walking near them as they exit the church and into the dark night.

 

"Oh, no, brother, it is much obliged for such a large compensation," the other person says with a hearty chuckle. "Getting lost out here is nothing to spit at, you see."

 

"Oh, but of course," Vlad responds with.

 

And then the two adults make small, useless adult talk that Danny tunes out. Mostly.

 

" – that youngin', he okay?"

 

"Yes – he doesn't go outside very often, however, so today has been very… exciting, for him."

 

With that, Vlad gives him a little bounce, which the older halfa can do since Danny is clinging to their front like a half-dead (ha) koala.

 

 _He won't miss part of his jugular, will he?_ Danny thinks heatedly as he imagines ripping the other man's throat out.

 

What's the worst that could happen?

 

Yellow, flashing eyes meet his across the road. The corn stalks sway and hum silent hymns as Danny's gaze is enraptured. He may be getting set down inside the seat of a car (?) right now, but his mind is stuck fast to the startling emptiness of the night sky.

 

Not a star to be seen in the cloudless, inky black.

 

The coyote that caught his attention does not shift. Its eyes are so bright, so knowing, that Danny's heart skips twice in quick succession.

 

Something smells strangely of offal as his consciousness drops like a stone, falling into sleep with the visage of burning coals in his mind's eye.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

Danny wakes up sputtering and using his tongue to push something long and leafy out of his mouth.

 

"Finally awake now, are we?" There's a sound of shuffling and crinkling papers.

 

Danny flails in what feels to be the leather back seat of a particularly steamy warm car, his bare skin hitting some blisteringly sunny spots before he manages to yank the obtrusion off of his face and, subsequently, out of his mouth. It turns out to be an ugly straw hat.

 

"Bleh!" The half-ghost spits, sitting up so fast he gets dizzy. His eyes are practically closed with how hard he has to squint against the glaring sun. Small dregs of anxiety flare in his chest. "Vlad?"

 

There's a shifting against the seats as a cold, wet thing is pressed against the side of his face. He yelps and draws back, only to realize that he just got scared by a water bottle.

 

The embarrassed ghost-boy snatches it from the hand in front of him, blinking rapidly in order to try to clear his vision. Before he knows what he's doing, he's unscrewed the cap and started guzzling the cool water to quench his dry throat. It smells kinda like herbs, but that's what Vlad smells like, so Danny shoves the olfactory component aside.

 

When he's done being thirsty (haha), he takes notice of a few things. A few very, very important things.

 

"Why are we in a big red jeep?" He asks first, balking when he gets a better look at their surroundings. "And _what the hell happened to the church!?"_

 

Danny's twisted uncomfortably in his seat to see behind them, but he can barely sense his discomfort with how flabbergasted he is. What used to be a bright, bustling church full of candles and paintings and smoke and stained glass now looks more like a fire hazard that was just asking to be condemned.

 

"The same fate that occurred to your family members," Vlad replies loftily as he flips the map in his hands around and traces a drawn route out lightly with his finger. "A dimensional shift between planes transported us temporarily to a new strand; an alternate universe where the veil between worlds is lifted long enough to mix certain aspects of these twin-like realities."

 

Danny blinks owlishly. "That…" _Sounds fucking horrifying._ "Sounds like fun." Because apparently he can never turn off his sarcastic defense system. "So… Are we back in our? Reality? Or whatever?"

 

"Possibly," Vlad leans back and lowers the map, rubbing a free hand onto his forehead as he sighs tiredly. "If memory serves me correctly, this church did not have any cars in front of it when we passed last time. I'm hoping that this means we are indeed in the original universe, thus existing alongside your family." He then gets a pinched expression. "That is, unless, they themselves also were transported to another universe and have yet to return."

 

"I… Oh, my god," Danny unwittingly mimics Vlad and rubs a hand over his brow, the other coming up to paw at the air indecisively. "Wait, wait, so… How are we still in this car? I'm pretty sure this existed with the church last night, right?" He makes no mention to the terrifying view of a starless sky and night creatures with too-knowing eyes.

 

Instead of answering, Vlad pulls out a long piece of paper from his pocket, tossing it back to the confused boy.

 

Danny catches the fluttering piece and looks at in uncomprehendingly.

 

It was a brochure for the biker church last night with dates for an event on it from only a day ago.

 

"Um…" the ghost-boy says haltingly, looking up to meet Vlad's expectant gaze. "Okay?"

 

The other man only stares heavily, mouth pursed, eyes flicking down to the brochure periodically.

 

Click. _"Oooh!"_ Danny exclaims, one hand flapping next to his torso as a sort of hesitant smile full of pure fear spreads over his face. "I get it. As long as it's with us, we can technically transport whatever we want between these freaky shift things, right?" He then breathes in quickly, hopping into the front seat next to Vlad with little effort (and a bit of ghostly help.) "So why weren't we transported with everyone else? Is it 'cause we're – "

 

"Different?" Vlad finishes, turning the key in the ignition and foisting the map off onto Danny as he pulls out of the abandoned church parking lot, starting down the road back to where this whole nightmare began. "My thoughts exactly. It is fortunate enough that we ended up in the same universe." He gets an odd look on his face. "I'm not sure if we would have been able to pull away from those… forces, last night, had we been truly separated."

 

Danny swallows nervously, buckling in only when Vlad gives him a pointed look. He doesn't concede without sticking his tongue out first, though.

 

"So, you waved a bunch of bills in somebody's face and got a perfectly new topless jeep?" Danny questions snarkily, managing to put his feet on the dash for a full five minutes of driving before Vlad notices and shoves them off again. "Or maybe you had some… _supernatural_ help?" He gives the older man a side-eyed look full of judgment.

 

"Oh, trust me, little badger," the man responds, looking over just in time to snap the sunglasses on his forehead down onto his eyes in a move reminiscent of what Danny did to Maddie yesterday, "my powers and money had very little to do with that exchange."

 

Danny pretends to gag out the side of the jeep.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

Almost three hours of driving and nothing to show for it except more corn and some disturbingly bare fields full of dust, Danny thinks that it is suffice to say he is bored as fuck.

 

"Vlaad…" Danny groans, tossing his head back so that it thumps against the rest of his seat. "Where are we?"

 

"The same place we've been the last time you asked."

 

"When will we get somewhere other than," cue dramatic arm fling out into the unknown, "here?"

 

"Just be patient, Daniel."

 

…

 

"And stop putting your feet on the dash!"

 

"Pfft – spoilsport…"

 

And so they drive.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

"So, like…" Danny drawls as he hops out of the jeep, gaining himself an annoyed look from Vlad when he doesn't use the door. "Is this place gonna disappear on us too?"

 

The other man raises an eyebrow. "Stay close." He says mysteriously, barely even waiting for Danny to catch up before he begins striding towards the only gas station for an uncountable amount of miles.

 

Danny, of course, huffs accordingly and scampers forward to catch up. There were precious few people at the gas station even when counting the single employee at the cash register, and it had that unnervingly empty and desolate quality that the rest of the place had turned out to be without its corn cover.

 

Not but a second later, some sort of tumbleweed brushes in between himself and Vlad, separating them for but a bare second. A small farmer's market that Danny hadn't noticed before (why?) springs into existence at the side of his vision.

 

It's enough.

 

"Vlad!" Danny squeaks out, suddenly speeding up and colliding with the older halfa's back.

 

To his credit, Vlad doesn't react very much, not even when the old woman with too much meat wrapped in brown paper peers at them from her position next to the small farmer's stall set up at the tail end of the gas station.

 

The only reason Danny can tell that it's meat is because it _smells._ He doesn't want to think about how he was pretty sure it was still wriggling not but a few moments before she got her hands on it.

 

And then there's a package being shoved under his nose and he's being carted into a bathroom. Probably the men's, since Vlad is coming with him, but he didn't get a good look at the signs, so maybe they've lucked out and got a unisex or something.

 

They brush their teeth and put on deodorant and comb their hair in silence. Vlad pulls out some sort of generalized traveling set from their anti-matter hammer-space or whatever, which would weird Danny out even if they hadn't since he's pretty sure this gas station only sells food and a pinch of drug store.

 

Danny glances at Vlad periodically, trying to be sneaky but probably failing with that one time that Vlad is already raising and eyebrow at him before he can look away.

 

He probably doesn't even have to say anything about how undeniably weird this is.

 

Just as he's getting those poisonous, tricky thoughts that try to convince him that _'Vlad is the enemy', 'Vlad knows what's going on and he's just not telling you',_ and _'Vlad is doing something on purpose, we know it!'_ he's being guided out the door with a hand on his shoulder.

 

There's this odd, humming, hissing noise that has permeated the air since they first stopped the car and could hear over the engines. Nobody but him seems to react adversely to it.

 

"Typical for cicada season," the old man at the farmer's stall says with a gravely, pock-marked voice to the old lady. The old lady doesn't respond verbally, but instead very purposefully grips her bags of meat until bloody juice drips onto the ground and is swallowed into the cracks and small holes.

 

Danny sucks in a breath and tries not to look as Vlad crowds him against the gas pump to fill up the jeep. He instead stares at the crackling earth near the edges of the pavement like it's some sort of wasteland. He feels confused. Didn't they just pass a patch of lush woods?

 

He doesn't know when he will stop feeling confused.

 

There is a sort of thrumming quality to the desolate place that makes him doubt the ground beneath his feet for a moment of time. This happens several times within only a few minutes, and the ghost-boy begins to feel restless and unseated.

 

Finally, Vlad ushers him into the jeep, and when the vehicle is turned on the humming, hissing, buzzing, and thrumming that makes his head feel fuzzy is stopped. He takes one last look at the old people in the farmer's stall.

 

They have so many eyes.

 

"Liminal spaces," Vlad tells a wide-eyed Danny as they're driving down the road again, "should not be trifled with."

 

Danny doesn't want to know how Vlad ever learned that. He just wants to go home.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

"Can't we just keep driving?" Danny asks with a wobbly disposition as Vlad groans and stretches out in his seat, pulling some sort of handle at the side so that it lays back horizontally.

 

"If you would like to drive, be my guest," the older man tells the fourteen-year-old-who-cannot-possibly-drive-yet sleepily, apparently already dipping into unconsciousness. "I have not slept for over forty hours, Daniel. It is time. Any longer and it will become unsafe to be on the road."

 

Danny makes a soft noise from the back seat, curled up with one of the blankets that magically appeared from Vlad's also magically purchased hammer-space traveling bag.

 

Vlad peeks one eye open and sighs. "Just look at the stars until you fall asleep. We're close enough to each other that nothing should happen."

 

Danny breathes in and out deeply to try and quell his anxiety as Vlad goes silent. He doesn't want to try and tell the older halfa about how the last time he tried to look into the night sky, there was nothing but blackness.

 

The half-ghost peers into the woods near their parked car, seeing, hearing, and sensing nothing.

 

It does not abate him.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

He stands at the edge of a rock quarry. There's too much dust in his mouth, his eyes, his hair, all gritty and sooty and thick like sludge as it slides down his throat, but he can't seem to cough and get rid of it. In fact, he can't seem to move at all.

 

He'd call it a dream, but he can't hear himself think over the howling wind. Or was it whispering? He tries very, very hard to not make out the words carried by the gale.

 

The thrumming in the ground is back – minute shakes that cause his legs to quiver and nearly buckle. That weakness that makes his muscles feel like jelly that can't seem to contract or get a grip long enough to keep him standing.

 

"Daniel," something says in his mother's voice.

 

He doesn't understand how he got here.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

They've both been watching the storm miles up in the sky to the north of them for about an hour now, the long, long stretches of road allowing them a perfectly unobstructed view.

 

Neither of them really talk about what they'll do if they get caught in a storm, what with having no top for their jeep. The air is thick with breathable water particles and the wind feels like heavy hands on their skin.

 

There's a tall city in the distance. It, too, reaches miles into the sky.

 

"They wouldn't stop there, would they?" Danny questions quietly as they both stare at the storm that parts quite obviously around the city.

 

"Most likely not," Vlad responds with a hidden meaning that doesn't need to be vocalized. The storm does not touch the city.

 

So they avoid the city just like the storm does.

 

 

!,.,!

 

 

They catch up to the remaining Fentons half a day later in the midst of one of those endlessly mysterious forests that reminds Danny of a childhood memory that he can't seem to place.

 

There's a lot of hugging and questions and awkward looks between Danny and Vlad that everyone but Jazz seems to miss.

 

"What did he do to you?" Jazz asks the younger halfa as the older is accosted by their parents. Danny tries not to feel that sense of loss when he's away from Vlad for too long; a protector that was never supposed to exist in the first place.

 

"Surprisingly?" Danny pulls his eyebrows together and shrugs, leaning away from his looming older sister. "Nothing. It actually seems like he was telling the truth when he said he had no part in us kinda sorta maybe disappearing into another dimension for a bit there."

 

The two siblings look over each other's shoulders and huddle against the camper for some more private-ish discussion. Danny keeps his eyes away from the red jeep sitting innocently at the mouth of the small rest stop. There's another fire pit in the middle. He rubs his arms to chase away a phantom chill.

 

"So, what happened?" Danny asks before Jazz can even open her mouth to badger (haha) him with even more questions about his mental and physical health. "Why did you guys just leave like that? I get sucked into some hellish dream world and you all decide to hop ship and hope I magically transported into this forest or something?"

 

Can you tell that he's miffed? Because he is. With a side of pathological trauma.

 

He's never going to look at corn the same way again.

 

"Well, when we woke up in the morning, you two were just gone!" Jazz exclaims, almost a little too loudly. Danny doesn't doubt that Vlad can hear, but he opts not to say anything. "And then mom and dad pulled out all of the gadgets I _specifically told them to leave at home,"_ she sighs gustily, "and said something about being on… well, _something's_ trail. They were convinced that you two were taken by that signature, and started tearing down the road no matter what I tried to do!"

 

Danny gives a little half-shrug and quirks his mouth as if saying 'what can you do?' "So uh… did you run into anything… weird?" Again, no specifics because he's _literally not going to sleep for weeks._

 

Jazz looks down at him with searching eyes. "After you two disappeared, no, that was about as weird as it got." Then she pauses and squints into the distance as if thinking out something specific. "Although, there was that weird town we stopped in. The people we met called it a college town, but we never saw any students…" Then she mutters something about how there was a CVS on every corner and they got turned around for a while there because of it.

 

Danny feels a great sigh of relief in his body, knowing that Vlad's intuition to avoid any cities or towns was right. Tension still thrums through his veins, though, and he's sure that it shows on his face no matter what he does.

 

"Here, you look peaky."

 

Jazz's personalized red bottle is suddenly in his hands. He looks up at her oddly.

 

"Well, it might be a bit warm," she rubs the back of her neck. "We kind of went overboard with the comfort food when we got into that town, so I haven't been drinking it very much."

 

Rolling his eyes at the admission, Danny pops the lid to the side and takes a big swig.

 

He nearly spits it out with how _bitter_ it is.

 

"Mmmm _noope,"_ he hums out, scrunching his face up and grimacing as he swallows. He might've expected that sort of flavor had it been diluted ectoplasm, but Jazz wouldn't have access to that out here, and sort of disproved of his hobby of 'magic healing' with the essence of _dead people_ anyway. "That's… _ughh..._ what did you _do_ to this thing?"

 

"What? Why? What's wrong?" She asks, swiping the bottle back and taking a hesitant sip. After a few soft lip smacks, she looks at him with furrowed brows. "I don't taste anything."

 

There's the smell of strangely familiar herbs in the air. It sends Danny twisting, tricking his mind into thinking that Vlad was nearby.

 

No dice. Vlad was standing a few yards away with his parents.

 

Danny, confused as hell, takes the bottle back and trickles a bit of the water onto his fingers. Jazz watches on silently as he brings it to his nose, taking a small sniff.

 

Herbs. Very distinct herb smells that most certainly weren't in his own green water bottle just a few days ago when he drank it. His weirdly pricked senses would have picked it up.

 

"Vlad, this is such an odd book to bring, but I think I understand why now…" Maddie says from her position in between Jack and Vlad, holding up a title-less leather bound book. "This place certainly is strange enough to warrant some investigation, don't you think? Even if a book written mostly about witchcraft is unconventional…"

 

Danny gawps at Vlad as the older man turns slightly, catching his eyes.

 

Vlad _smirks._

 

Danny seethes, seeing red. He takes the bottle fully in his grasp and lobs it across the clearing.

 

Unfortunately, Vlad catches it in such a smooth motion that Jack and Maddie only give him a curious glance before going back to what they were talking about.

 

Fuck.

 

" – nearly odorless, tasteless… A spell for protection?" Maddie reads from a marked page in the book. "Oh, well… Too bad we didn't know this in time to save you two from disappearing, now did we?"

 

"Oh, yes," Vlad responds, oily, just like he's always been and always will be. "How unfortunate."

 

" _Fuuuuck,"_ Danny hisses out loud this time, his face twisted and his mind screaming. "I should've known! I should never have trusted him! _Goddammit_ , I'm such an _idiot – "_

 

"What, Danny?" Jazz asks, a bit wild-eyed at not knowing what was going on. "What did he do?"

 

"He – fucking – _ugh!"_ Danny growls ineloquently, his eyes no doubt flashing all kinds of green as he releases some anger by kicking up a pile of leaves and unearthing a small circle of mushrooms that he stays _far_ away from. "He – "

 

Vlad looks a bit red-faced when Jack slaps him on the shoulder. Maddie has a cloying look in her eyes when that hand doesn't move from his person. Vlad doesn't seem too disturbed aside from the red face…

 

In fact, he looks the opposite of disturbed…

 

Oh no.

 

"Oh no." Danny whispers.

 

" _What!?"_ Jazz exclaims for the fifth time. Danny only silently moves her until she is no longer standing too close to the tiny fairy circle. "What's going _on!?"_

 

"Hey, there, kiddos!" Jack Fenton bellows excitedly with a genial smile as he walks up to the two huddled teens. He is seemingly unaware of their twin blanched faces as he claps his hands together. "Great news! V-man's invited us to stay with him at his beach house over summer break. Isn't that great? Your mother agreed since you two seemed to get along so well, Danny-boy!"

 

"Oh no." Jazz echoes finally.

 

Oh no, indeed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A breakdown of what happened:
> 
> (1) Vlad gives Jack, Maddie, and Jazz all infused water to protect them from any supernatural going-ons.  
> (2) Vlad gives himself and Danny ectoplasm-water to further other themselves as supernatural beings.  
> (3) Vlad ensures that he and Danny spend enough time in the other-dimension so that the Fentons can get far away enough for him to switch back and be alone with Danny.  
> (4) After they switch from the Corn Hell/Biker church dimension back to their original dimension, Vlad gives himself and Danny (very slightly) infused water to ensure they don't switch to any other dimensions again.  
> (5) Begin Mid-Western Gothic Fun Road Trip, where Vlad exposes Danny to all the scary weird shit that makes him more dependent and trusting of Vlad, since according to Vlad, neither of them can transform without switching dimensions again.  
> (6) Unreliable POV - Danny finally figures out that Vlad did something, but can't really explain what happened because he doesn't fully understand either, he just knows Vlad is BadWrong.


	2. epilogue?

 

"I'm telling you, right now, that this will end in disaster."

 

Jazz sighs for the sixth time in the past ten minutes as she re-adjusts her brother clinging to her back and shoulders. The older sibling is careful not to kick up too much sand as she trails a safe distance behind the three adults conversing further up the sunny beach.

 

"I know, Danny," Jazz replies with no small amount of exasperation. "You've been repeating the same thing over and over the whole plane ride here! I'm surprised that mom and dad didn't decide to turn the darn thing around themselves and take you home."

 

Danny makes some sort of huffing noise that blows uncomfortable air on the back of her neck. It is either in response to what she said or to how mom and dad seem to be throwing their arms around Vlad and dragging the shortest member down the beach with peals of laughter.

 

" _Woof,"_ Danny spits out bitterly, "If I wasn't downed right now I'd run up there and – "

 

"You were so tired from staying up glaring at Vlad through the whole flight that you got off the plane, tripped, and twisted your ankle," Jazz interrupts with, sounding resigned to her fate. Her fate being her little brother's older sister, that is. "I'd hardly call that 'downed.'"

 

"Just as long as you don't drop me and leave me to the harsh, harsh punishment of this sand," Danny intones dramatically, "then we're good."

 

There's a few moments of silence. Due to Jazz being quite aware of Danny's moods by now, however, she can already tell that he's about to –

 

"Can't you get any closer?"

 

"And watch our parents schmooze all over Vlad _Plasmius?"_ She crossly replies. "No, I will not subject myself or your _innocent eyes_ to such a display."

 

Another pronounced silence, then, "I can't tell if you're being serious or sarcastic."

 

Jazz uses her brother's confusion as an opportunity to hoist him upwards on her back, causing him to yelp in surprise. "The point is: you're either going to have to get used to avoiding them when they get all…"

 

The two teens observe their mother tug Vlad's hair out of his ponytail and their father ruffle his hair.

 

" _This."_ Jazz draws her head back in slight disgust along with Danny, though hers is less pronounced or full of rage. "Or we're going to have to do something about it."

 

Danny makes a scoffing noise, one thin arm coming up into Jazz's vision to toss itself around vaguely. "Of _course_ we're going to do something. Don't you remember what happened the _last time_ Vlad took us on a trip?" Jazz doesn't even get to say anything before he goes on. "I got kidnapped! Into _another freaking dimension!"_

 

"Yes, Danny," Jazz replies a bit exasperatedly. When is she not around her half-ghost sibling? His dramatics were just _so…_ "I've heard all about it since we got back last spring break."

 

Neither of them mention the harrowing month-and-a-half between spring break and summer break where Danny couldn't seem to be able to be alone for more than an hour before latching himself onto the nearest family member.

 

In their silence, a building comes into view around the corner of some grassy, sandy dunes. It is wooden, has a big patio around a clean infinity pool, remotely placed on private land, and is generally everything a billionaire or otherwise would have in their arsenal of 'useless shit I own.'

 

Having lagged behind by a drastic amount, the three adults are apparently waiting on the porch for their kids to arrive. Still, they converse boisterously and with too many smiles for just a couple and their old family friend from college.

 

"Hey, Danny." Danny makes some sort of confirming noise, no doubt too busy glaring to give a proper response. "Do you think… maybe…" Jazz bites her lip. "Maybe we should let them have this?"

 

"I'm sorry, what?"

 

Jazz sighs. "Well – I'm just saying – Maybe we shouldn't try to sabotage this? Or think before we act?"

 

"Jazz," Danny replies with a long-suffering sigh. It has hints of disbelief in it that he is obviously trying to hide. "This is _Vlad Masters_ we're talking about. You know, the guy who tried to convince mom and dad to stay with him, then he found out they had kids and had the bright idea to trap us all in his castle forever?"

 

Jazz only hums in reply. Of course she remembers that event – it was quite traumatic, actually, and much closer to home to the psychology-inspired novels she once poured over in her pre-teen years than comfortable.

 

Now, of course, it makes more sense; why else would Vlad want to trap both of his old flames under the disguise of being a ghost? And, again – why else would a lonely man want to ensnare the entire family under his reign? Especially once he found out that their son is facing the same hardships in life of being a half-ghost.

 

"Pfft; whatever." Danny grunts as he launches himself from his sister's back, landing on the ground with a puff of sand and no pain whatsoever. "I'll just do it myself then. You go ahead and have your _lovely vacation."_

 

"Wh – Danny!" Jazz chastises, hands already on her hips as he observes her cheeky little brother. "You healed a long time ago, didn't you?"

 

"I didn't want to get my new shoes all sandy!" Danny defends with, putting a hand to his chest like he just couldn't believe his sister's audacity at calling him out. "I paid for these things, Jazz, with my own money. Money I earned from batting my pretty eyes at Dash for two weeks straight." As if to demonstrate, he blinks his baby blue eyes at his sister.

 

And then he's gone full tilt with a running leap up the porch, proceeding to dive bomb Vlad despite his parent's screams for him to 'get off that ankle!'

 

To the older halfa's credit, he doesn't seem too affected or surprised at suddenly having an armful of angry spitfire child, as he only reacts by tucking an irate Danny up and under his arm and smiling serenely at Jack and Maddie.

 

Mom, of course, looks appropriately horrified at her child's behavior, but Dad just kind of seems impressed at how well Vlad handled the teenage terror known to be Danny Fenton.

 

Jazz rolls her eyes and stomps her way up to the porch, resigned to her fate of being her brother's keeper (once again) for the duration of these two weeks. She is sure that they will be filled with too many dramatics to count.

 


End file.
